FUNNY : 12

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A teenage boy to his father: Here's my report card
and a list I've  compiled of entrepreneurs who never
finished high school.


In order to get 100/100 in life, a man requires 100%
talent, whereas  a woman requires only 4% talent &
the remaining is only 36-24-36


Miss U Miss U sab kahein, par actually miss kare na koi.
Agar koi  kisiko miss kare to fir SMS band kyun hoye!


Indian Airlines slogan: A warm experience & motherly
treatment... warm b'coz AC doesn't work & motherly
because Air hostesses are above 50


Who is more satisfied, a man with a million dollars,
or a man with six children?
The man with six children. The man with a million
dollars wants more


A doting father used to sing his little children to
sleep until he overheard the four-year-old tell
the three year old, "If you 
pretend you're asleep, he stops."


A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service
for some pepper.
Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper?
French: Toilette pepper!


Manmohan Singh: We are sending Indians to the
moon next year!
Bush: Wow! Howc many?
Manamohan: 25 OBC, 25 SC, 20 ST, 5 Handicapped,
5 Sports Persons, 5 Terrorist Affected, 5 Kashmiri
Migrants, 9 Politicians & if possible 1
Astronnaut


Girl's excuses: Phone mat kiya karo dear, mom hoti hai
near, papa se lagta hai fear, baat nahin hoti hai clear.
Isliye SMS kiya karo dear
 without fear n very clear


What's the definition of a skeleton?
A striptease that went just too far...


Naukrani: Malkin aap udaas kyon hain?
Malkin: Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se
pyaar karte hai.
Naukrani: Nahin, sahab mujhe dhokha nahin de sakte


Train mein TT Sadhu se bola: Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu: Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT: Ticket hai?
Sadhu: Nahin
TT: Chalo
Sadhu: Kahan?
TT: Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein 


Girl: If u'll try to kiss me, main shor macha doongi.
Boy: Lekin yahan to dur-dur tak koi nahin hai.
Girl: I know but formality to karni hi padegi..


The Madrasi said: I want to see the movie 'Heart is
umbrella'. 
Which movie did he really want to see?
Dil Chhata Hai.......


Geeta Sar: SMS kar aur bhool ja, reply ki apeksha mat
rakh, kiya hua SMS kabhi veyarth nahi jaata, Sabko
apne kiye hue SMS ka reply
milta hi hai!


Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds
...... Open ur eyes !
Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 seconds
in thinking of a fool.


God made Pepsi, God made whisky, God made me so
sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes and God made
you... well everybody makes
mistakes. 


I saw u on road today. U were lukin so fine, ur face
so divine, ur  walk so perfect. My heart started singing
a sweet song: Who Let The Dog Out!


When words fail... eyes work,
when eyes fail... heart works,
and when heart fails... to kya?,
samajh le TAPAK gaya 'MAAMU'


The Japanese have produced a camera that has such
a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman
with her mouth shut!


Geet Ka Saar: SMS woh gyaan hai jo baantne se badta
hai, isiliye he praani tu bill ka moh tyag de aur SMS
kar, isi se tera manushaya janm safal hoga.


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