FUNNY : 9

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What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!


Population slogan in Bihar: Hum Do Hamare Do,
Unke Baad Jitne Bhi Hon, Sabko Punjab aur
Haryana bhej do


Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya, Counter Clerk asks:
Kuch kehna chahte ho?
Sharabi: Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke
baad khulti hain.


A young man asks a kind priest: Father is it a sin to
sleep with a girl?
Father: No my child but the problem is that u guys
never sleep. 


Yaad mein tumhari mujhe loose motions lag gaye hain.
Hain to ye aanso per lagta hai raata bhatak gaye hain.


Can't believe that after all the shit that's happened
between them, 
they are still together.
Who?
Ur bums. 


Osama to Big B: How are you??
Big B: Bas Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. And you?
Osama: Bas Kabhi Gola Kabhi Bum. 


Look at the ocean & see God's abundance! Look at the
sky & see God's glory! Look at the moon & see God's
wonder! Look at the mirror & see 
God's Blunder!


Q: What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
A: A Moti-vaiting.


Sharab Ek Bimari hai jo pure samaj ko khatam kar deti
hai. To aao milkar is bimari ko khatam karen. Ek bottle
tum khatam karo ek bottle hum khatam karen.


Y does Waheeda Rehman never changes her saree in
the film GUIDE?Coz Dev Anand says: O mere
humrahi, meri baanh thame chalna, 
badle duniya SARI, tum na badalna. 


Gujju lover: Darling mere kaan me kuch halka sa,
kuch narm sa, Kuch
namkin sa, Kuch mitha sa kaho!
Premika: Dhokla.


Think big, think smart, think positive, think beautiful,
think great, I know this is too much for you,
so here is a shortcut... just think about ME!


Today, tommorow and yesterday there'll be one heart
that would always beat for you. You know Whose?
Your Own Stupid!


When u smile the world smiles with u. Wen u r down
people'll rally behind u but when u fart u r alone
coz people'll never stand by u!


This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn't expect
this from you!
Got a whole Channel on your name and didn't
even tell me?Animal Planet!


If u want success in life; be Sweet like Honey,
Regular like Clock, Fresh like Rose, Soft like Tissue,
Strong like Rock, Sure like Death & 
smart like ME.


Sometime my mind asks why I miss you? Why I care for
you? Why I remember you? Then my heart answers
it's simply because mental 
patient needs more care.


Q: What's the difference between gud & bad gals?
A: Gud gals loosen 
a few buttons when its hot, bad gals make it hot by
loosening a few buttons!

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