MARRIAGE : 2

A boy on Date With Gal in BMW. Jaan ! Maine tumse ek
baat chupaai hai ki
I'm already married.
Girl: Oh GOD! Tumne To dara he dia, main Samjhi ye
Car tumhari nahi.


Men who don't understand women at all, by & large,
fall into two groups:
Bachelors and Husbands.


Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me
in six months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard
to get!


Doctor 2 husband: Tuhadi biwi te tuhada blood group
same hai.
Husband: Hovega kyon ni, 25-saal to mera khoon jo pee
rahi hai!


Husband: Shall we try a different position tonight?
Wife: That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing
board while I sit on the sofa and fart.


Husband: "When I'm gone you'll never find another
man like me."
Wife replied: "What makes you think I'd want another
man like you!"


The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother &
said, "I've found a man just like father!"
Mother replied, "So what do u want from me, sympathy?"


After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know,
I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn't notice."


Q: What is difference between watch & wife:?
A: Ek kharaab hoti hai to band ho jaati hai aur doosri
kharab hoti hai to chaloo ho jaati hai.


Santa: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it
was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.


Doctor: U n ur wife have same blood group.
Husband: Yeh to hona hi tha 20 saal se mera khoon pi
rahi hai.


Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, jo raat ko aaye
aur subha chali jaye!


Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during
wedding ?
To tell each other affectionately... Sweetheart U R
Dead !


Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman


There is only one perfect child in the world and every
mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every
neighbour has it


Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man,
The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.


How Dogs and Women are alike?
Neither believe that silence is golden, neither can balance
a checkbook,
and Both put too much value on kissing


The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it:
Everything and the book is titled: "What Woman Want!"


A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND


Galfriends r like chocolates, taste gud anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice


Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or
cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury
the ash.


Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!


Every Man needs a Beautiful wife, intelligent wife,
caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting &
cooperative wife, but it's sad that law allows
only one wife.


A man's silence can break a woman's heart into a
thousand pieces while a
woman's silence can give a man a thousand moments
of peace!


Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself
for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire
insurance amount.

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